Cricketer Azeem Rafiq on racism whistleblowing, mental health and relocating to Dubai

Former professional cricketer Azeem Rafiq, who dramatically left his playing days behind him and contemplated suicide after he blew the whistle on institutional racism and bullying within the sport in the UK, has relocated to Dubai and is advocating the importance of men’s mental health, saying too few men speak out when they are suffering from anxiety or depression.

Rafiq spoke to Al Arabiya English about the importance of seeking help during “dark days” during Men’s Health Week, which is marked from June 12-18.

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Former professional cricketer Azeem Rafiq, who dramatically left his playing days behind him – and contemplated suicide – after he blew the whistle on institutional racism and bullying within the UK sport, has relocated to Dubai and is advocating the importance of men’s mental health, saying too few men speak out when they are suffering from anxiety or depression. (Supplied)

The 32-year-old, in various accounts, detailed the racism that he encountered at the Yorkshire County Cricket Club, which resulted in charges brought against senior figures in English cricket in revelations that shook the sport and sparked direct action towards diversity and inclusion.

Rafiq, who has since become an influential anti-racism campaigner since an independent report commissioned by Yorkshire County Cricket Club found he had suffered racial harassment and bullying at Headingley, one of England’s most historic sporting clubs, said speaking out in 2020 about racism changed his life forever.

Now Dubai-based and given a Golden Visa to stay in the emirate, Rafiq said the UAE is his home for the foreseeable future. He will use the country as a base to campaign for meaningful change within sports and create mental health awareness for men and families.

‘My life changed forever’

“Many of you will know me as the British Asian cricketer who blew the whistle on racism and bullying at Yorkshire County Cricket Club,” he said. The sportsman found himself in the middle of several investigations and a long-running legal battle, which saw charges brought by the England and Wales Cricket Board (ECB) proven against the club and several staff. “Back in August 2020, when I walked into a media interview, little did I know that it would change my life forever.”

The interview, he recalled, was about a new venture business, but he was given a curve ball when asked a question on prejudice and whether he had experienced any.

“I got emotional and shared a bit of what I’d experienced through my time in cricket,” he recalled. “That escalated a little more, and the media started taking an interest. I did another interview where I spoke openly about how I’d been treated and that I’d nearly committed suicide, which was very difficult because it was the first time my parents and my family were going to hear about what I had been going through when they all thought I was living my dream.”

‘I had pretty dark days’

Since he spoke out, Rafiq said the past three years had been very challenging, with some “pretty dark days” during the investigation and legal proceedings.

“It’s had a massive impact on my life and my mental health, and I’ve had to make some very difficult and life-changing decisions,” he told Al Arabiya English. “I have a young family and being in the public eye and the backlash has been very difficult, so I made the decision to leave the UK with my family for a short period of time in 2022 and came to Dubai.”

‘Dubai has been incredibly positive for me’

“Being here in Dubai has really been an incredibly positive experience for me and the whole family and it’s impacted my mental health in a very positive way too.”

“It’s an exciting time for me and there is so much going on. I’m excited to be in Dubai and in this region now with my family – I’ve just got my Golden Visa!”

“My book ‘It’s Not Banter, It’s Racism: What Cricket’s Dirty Secret Reveals About Our Society,’ is due for publication in the summer, with a documentary to follow soon after. I also still love cricket and I’m a Level 4 coach and I want to talk about cricket from a broadcasting point of view.”

“I want to try and create new opportunities in cricket, to break down barriers with my insights. I want to use my experience, but not just in cricket, but in wider sports too and try and create support for people, brands, corporates to hopefully create environments that are fun and enjoyable and that get the best out of people. I have a lot of passion projects I’m working on too,” he said.

Those projects include advocating for mental health as a global campaigner.

“I don’t think we talk enough about changes that make an impact on mental health and being in this city has been very positive for me. I’ve felt at peace, valued and have experienced so much love and support – so we have decided to stay and make Dubai our new home.

‘It is not easy speaking out’

Rafiq said there are a lot of campaigns that encourage people to “stand up and speak out,” especially men, but he believes, in reality, this is very difficult to do this.

“Truthfully, it’s not at all easy as I’ve witnessed in the last three years since I did just this. You lose personal friendships; you lose professional work, and it can be a very isolating and lonely place to be.”

Regardless of this fact, Rafiq said there needs to be a wider conversation to try and encourage people to stand up and also make people realize the power of their voices and the impact they can make on both themselves and society as a whole.

“It is a tough subject and I was told after speaking out that in history, there was no one who had ‘blown the whistle,’ that had gone on to lead a happy life afterwards.”

“But I’m very determined and energized to change that and not just for myself but to send out a message to everyone out there that you can make a stand on issues and you can speak out about what you believe in and there is power in your voice no matter how small you think it is and at the end you will have a fun and successful life.”

“I want to re-emphasize this as I truly do feel very grateful for the support I’ve received and the love I’ve been given by a lot of people and there are good people out there if you do the right thing.”

Aside from his professional struggles, Rafiq also suffered a personal tragedy.

Personal loss

During a one-day game against Warwickshire in May 2018, Rafiq received the call that his son was stillborn.

“We tragically lost our baby son in 2018 and honestly, I don’t know how I’ve coped with it. I don’t even know if I am coping with it, but it is something I have chosen to be really honest about,” he told Al Arabiya English. “I struggled at the time and I remember those days so clearly and friends and people kept telling me not to ignore myself, but how could I not as I had to try and be there for my wife and I had to try and be the rock she needed at that time.”

“The things I found really difficult was language from doctors and professionals such as ‘her baby;’ the man’s feelings and heart gets forgotten about during bereavement and especially child loss. It’s something that I felt very strongly about as it was my baby too.”

“In terms of how I coped with it, I am very lucky now that I have two children – a boy and a girl – and I feel very fortunate to have them, but there is not a day that goes by that I don’t miss my son. I have also found comfort in religion and one of the main things that I was taught in my religion was how your child will wait there for you on your day of judgement when the time comes and hold your hand to take you to heaven and that keeps me and my wife going.”

Rafiq said it has been important for him to share his experiences about loss.

“This has allowed me to share and connect with people as many got in touch with me after I spoke out about the loss of my son, saying they had been through similar [situations] and how hearing me speak about it helped them,” he said. “I hope to be able to continue to work in this space and help those who are going through this as you don’t go through it just for that time, but for the rest of your life.”

‘Men should be encouraged to speak out’

“I want to try and build a community and show that there are a lot of people who have experienced this and together we can help each other get through it and suffering in silence is never the way. Being as open as we can about all our mental health challenges is so important, but especially when it comes to child loss for a man as our society doesn’t really encourage a man to speak out about loss and bereavement.”

Rafiq said while there is a global movement encouraging mental sufferers – men as well as women – to speak out and get support, there is still a long way to go.

“We are still a long way off where we need to be,” he said. “I remember when I was really struggling, I was sharing and re-tweeting things around mental health and suicide on social media because I wanted someone to see I was struggling and to come and speak to me and support me.”

“There are so many campaigns around mental health and sport but when it comes to having real conversations it is still seen as a stigma and we need to grow past this.”

“We need to create a global community to support one another, where we support those who speak out, as our stories really matter. Whether it’s racism, abuse of any sort to personal loss, discrimination in the workplace, or whatever it may be, even relationship issues, we need to create a safe space for men especially to be able to speak about their issues and speak to each other as there is always someone there to help.”

Rafiq said he has been struggling with mental health for a decade.

“I’ve openly shared I’ve been on anti-depressants for a large part of this time, I’ve done lots of different types of therapy, some of which have really helped, others not. The more I feel that I share what I am going through, the easier it feels and I’d love to be able to use my platform to collaborate with others to really create a global community where there is always someone available to help.”

“Maybe it’s only my personal experience, but I’ve really garnered a huge amount of support from others who have got in touch going through similar things and I’ve been able to talk to them and help them while at the same time finding it therapeutic for myself.”

“In the last 12 months, I’ve been lucky enough to be able to speak on global stages and to share my experiences. During this time the love and support I’ve received from strangers has allowed me to really start to heal and feel better.”

“I’m still relatively new to the Middle East, but I can also talk about stigma in the South Asian community where the language used around mental health is still not very encouraging and there is a real lack of safe spaces for those struggling.”

This, he said, is a global issue, but some places are moving faster than others.

“From my own perspective and short time here (in Dubai) I’ve seen a real passion and commitment to make a real difference in this space and I’ve met some really great people doing brilliant work to create change and that’s what it is about.”

“What it also needs is big corporates and big brands to also come together to understand what we can do to really make a difference and for me personally, there is no substitute for lived experiences and listening to others.”

“Early on when everything happened, I was asked the question of what I wanted to achieve by speaking out and what the future looked like for me. I didn’t realize it completely and the bigger picture at the time, but I think I’ve been given a platform from people and the chance to speak about things very close to my own heart, such as mental health, child loss and inclusion.”

“One of the most important things to me is that I want to use my platform to try and create a space where we can talk about the difficult things that happen in life openly and honestly. I want to share the message that after really tough times there is a lot of fun and good times out there. I feel I am very resilient and the resilience I’ve shown throughout can be turned into a real positive which can inspire a lot of others too. That’s definitely how I see my future and I get out of bed every day incredibly energized and passionate about the future that lies ahead.”

“For those who are struggling, I want them to see that I’m just a normal person born in Karachi, who grew up in Barnsley UK and I want them to see how we all have a voice and we can all make a difference if we look at the bigger picture and beyond ourselves.”

Mental health experts in the United Arab Emirates have also moved to dispel myths surrounding men’s health saying males also suffer from conditions traditionally associated with women – such as post-partum depression and eating disorders such as anorexia.

Dr Shweta Misra, clinical psychologist from the Aspris Wellbeing Centre in Dubai, said men are just as susceptible to mental ill health as women but the “perpetuation of certain myths, in addition to the stigma which many men still associate with asking for help, can dissuade them from seeking support.”

“It’s astounding that in the 21st century, gender roles can still have a negative effect on how men approach their mental health. Society in some cultures still demands that men need to be tough, independent and unemotional. This deters many from opening up emotionally, and that just isn’t compatible with therapy.”

Read more:

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